Faye Jessica

Beauty, Fashion, Entertainment & Lifestyle

Tinder | A Warning


Hi everyone! This is going to be a very different post to the usual so I hope you don’t mind, but I think it’s really important to get this message out there. So…

Earlier this year I downloaded Tinder and started talking to some really lovely people. Some were weird but I tended to just ignore those. I deleted the app when things got serious with my ex. But after things didn’t work out, I re-downloaded it in the hopes to regain old friends and even meet new ones.

Things have been going well.

I’ve met up with old friends and new ones. But, I always make sure I’m very careful before meeting people. Snapchat and Facetime are perfect for this because you can make sure the people you are meeting aren’t lying about who they say they are (to an extent). However, I always do a social media search of the people I’m talking to, just to make sure I feel they are safe enough to meet. I also always make sure I plan to meet people in a public place.

Now let’s get onto my story…

I started talking to a lad on tinder. For the purpose of this story, let’s call him Rick. So, I talked to him for a little while, then he added me on Snapchat to talk on there. Perfect because then I could see his face to check it matches his pictures. It did!

We spoke every day for around a week and he seemed really nice. I made it clear to him that I want nothing more than ‘friends’ with anyone right now as I have only recently came out of a relationship. So, he spoke to me about his friend. For the purpose of this story, let’s call her Rebecca. He said he’s taking her on a date and as she likes him, they might get together. I said that’s great but that if they did get together, I would not longer talk to him because I would obviously expect him to delete Tinder and be solely focused on her.

We were still talking perfectly fine and he was flirting a little. Then we decided to meet. He asked if he could kiss me etc and I said yes but to just see how things go. Then, he sent a Snapchat and sent another one after that wasn’t meant for me. It said something like “I’m going to pick up [girls name].” For the purpose of this story, we’ll call her Poppy. He then apologised and said that the second Snapchat was meant for his mum. I thought that was weird but just continued to talk as normal. In the morning (the day before we were going to meet). I decided to do some searching, as this was still playing on my mind. I found him on Facebook and in his bio ‘Poppy’s’ name was there. I managed to find her on Facebook and his name was in her bio. To me that seems as though they are in a relationship or have some sort of commitment to eachother.

So I turned into Nev from Catfish to look for any other signs that they are in a relationship. Eventually I found their Instagram pages which were the same with eachother’s names in their bios. But, their profile pictures were of them both together. To me, it was very clear he is in a relationship but is on Tinder acting single. In his Tinder bio it even said “single asf.” Wow.

So, I confronted him about Poppy and he got very defensive then blocked me without a reply. So I messaged him on Tinder saying if he is in a closed relationship then being on Tinder and dating other girls is disgusting. As I know, if I was in Poppy’s position I’d be furious. So, I decided to casually try to get in touch with Poppy to tell her what I know, as I felt that was only right. I first messaged her to ask how she knows Rick (because I had no real proof they were together). But, she read and ignored this message. So I left it for a while then messaged her again explaining everything I’ve just discussed.

I’m still waiting for her to read the message.

Honestly, I just feel so bad about this whole situation and I wanted to write this post to warn others to please be careful because a lot of people on these sort of apps/websites aren’t totally honest. What if I had met up with that lad and not known he had a girlfriend?

I also now realise why he wanted to talk on Snapchat because of course, the messages disappear so I have no real proof of anything.

Let me know in the comments if you think how I approached this situation is right and if you have any thoughts or advice.

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15 Comments

  1. Hannah Shaw 11th September 2017

    What a scumbag!!!! You deffo did the right thing girl! If Poppy chooses to ignore you she’s just silly and naive and it wouldn’t surprise me if she’s had other girls messaging her similar things but he’s probably fed her a bunch of lies!!!
    This happened to me with my ex and it took a lot for me to realise what a mug I was!!!
    Boys are just disgusting.

    • fayejessica 11th September 2017 — Post author

      I know!!! Oh thank you I’m so glad you think so. You’re so right there! Oh really, I’m so sorry to hear that. Honestly I don’t know how people can get away with doing it, it’s truly disgusting.

  2. girlingamba 11th September 2017

    Oh my god that’s so horrible! I didn’t have an experience quite like that, but I did go on a few dates with a guy and then he ghosted me! Of course, I blogged about it but this situation is actually really disgusting. What is wrong with people? I hope the girlfriend confronted him about it!

    -GG
    http://www.girlingamba.com

    • fayejessica 12th September 2017 — Post author

      Oh really? That’s not good! I honestly don’t know, I’m still so angry about it all. I really hope she has, but as she’s still ignoring my message, I don’t think she knows x

  3. Elephants Voice 13th September 2017

    I am always so worried of something like this – two of my boyfriends have been on Tinder before while dating me – one turned out to be a clear and simple explanation that was fine (long story) and the other was not so innocent. I would hate to think how ‘Poppy’ must feel but I truly am happy you told her and have so much respect for you for doing so!
    https://elephantsvoice.blog/2017/09/13/dear-freshers/

  4. terriheckley 14th September 2017

    Oh gosh what an ordeal! I hate modern dating, it’s so scary x

  5. Britt | Alternatively Speaking 17th September 2017

    I had a situation awhile back (like before I met my husband) where I met a guy from a dating site and we went on a few dates. I had even been to his house for dinner, etc. Only to find out that not only was he not single, his fiancée called me after hearing my voicemail that I left for him at his house one day. Luckily for me she was great about it, understanding that I had no idea that she existed!
    Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca

    • fayejessica 18th September 2017 — Post author

      Wow! That’s crazy. I’m glad she was okay about this situation though.

  6. Planet Vikki 26th September 2017

    You definitely approached it the right way as I would do the same. I have been with my Husband over 8 years now so haven’t actually experienced modern dating but I would be the same as you and totally turn into Nev lol!

    Vikki | planetvikkiblog.wordpress.com

    • fayejessica 26th September 2017 — Post author

      I’m glad you think so! Thanks so much. Congratulations on 8 years, that’s amazing!

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